David Show

I want to write you my intro... but my WhatsApp keeps going off and

breaking my concentration. It's nothing important... or I'd tell you

about it.

I never get any messages. Nobody calls. But the second I

start writing this thing... I'm also pissed at Jane. We were friends

for ten years but then she got heavy into being offended by literally

every word that came out of my mouth and I became embarrassed to even

know her.

Now there's a message from her... juuuuust as I'm writing

this "all-important" intro... trying to give you a glimpse of who I

really am... and what I'm all about... but I see the first three letters

of her name... just sitting at the top corner of my screen as I'm

typing this... and I want to raise this iPad over my head and fling it

at the wall as hard as I possibly can and scream: "TEN YEARS! Not a

single argument! I never hit on you... Never tried to kiss you... for TEN YEARS.

Now alllllll of a sudden..."

Wait a minute... What was I saying?

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